Au Lecteur

That’s what she read – July 25, 2013

Posted in Feministing, That's what she read by aulecteur on July 25, 2013

I just started following the Good Men Project with an eye to widening my perspective on feminist issues and how gender stereotyping affects boys and men (and how it in turn affects women – vicious cycle). I’m disappointed GMP shared this letter, which I agree is apologist and normalizing.

I don’t know who the anonymous writer is but I sense that he’s just a seemingly nice guy who likes to have fun and maybe someone I’d hang out with. But he is a rapist. Rape defined as having sex with someone who does not or cannot consent. He’s not a monster lurking in dark alleyways or stalking women on their way to their cars. He’s a normal dude at a party and he’s a rapist. Because he has sex with women who do not or cannot consent.

So there it is. A rapist who is admitting to rape but because of rape culture (yes, it exists), he’s able to rationalize his behaviour and make non-consenting women culpable because we don’t punish perpetrators, we blame the victim and blame it on the a-a-a-a-a- al-co-hol.  The critique states: “I know that I talk a lot about rape culture, but you guys? This is rape culture right here. It’s articles like these that make men feel better about raping women. It’s articles like these that contribute to victim blaming (if a woman doesn’t want to be raped, she shouldn’t drink so much, right?) It’s articles like these that normalize rape, that make rape seem like a by-product of enjoying oneself, that make rape seem inevitable and uncontrollable.”

I wonder what my man friends think of this article. Let me know!

The article on GMP I’d Rather Risk Rape Than Quit Partying, The Good Men Project, December 2012

The critique: “I’d Rather Risk Rape Than Quit Partying” – Rape Culture and The Good Men Project, The Belle Jar, December 2012

 

That’s what she read – June 4

Posted in That's what she read by aulecteur on June 4, 2013

So many interesting things to read. Here are a few of them. It’s a good mix covering rape jokes, Mad Men and Dove’s marketing bullshit.

 

What do rapists think about rape jokes?, XOjane.com, June 4, 2013

This article presents one of the best argument against rape jokes – the best being that they’re gross, you sick0. This article posits shame is the key to understanding why rape jokes are best left out of a comic’s set. It says basically, who’s side are you on, anyway? Would you rather be on the side of women (your mother, grandmother, sister, friends…) or rapists, in general as “rapists” or personally; men who are potentially, I hate to say it, your father, grandfather, brother, friends…? Rape jokes normalize sexual assault, sex without consent. It’s funny to take advantage or violate a woman who can’t, for whatever reason, object.

“My ex-girlfriend never made me wear a condom… She was on the pill: Ambien!”

This joke is funny. You know why? Because of the element of surprise. Perfectly timed, a pregnant pause after the set up, the joke lands with aplomb. You laugh because you get the joke, and it is clever. But when you think about it, don’t you just know it’s incredibly wrong to laugh about what is the reality of an unknowable number of women, and with every possibility, a woman in the comedy club, as the article states.

“Ultimately, the question of comedians making the sort of rape jokes that comfort rapists isn’t really a matter of can they make those jokes, or even a question of should they. It’s your mic, man, you can do whatever you want to do while you’re holding it. The question is, if you’ve got that mic in your hand, why do you want to use it to make rapists feel better?”

 

Is Megan Going To Be Murdered On “Mad Men”?, Buzzfeed.com, June 4, 2013

H/T to Reddit for this theory of murder most foul on Mad Men. I totally buy it and think it would be seriously excellent television. Is it wrong that I want this to happen? I do love a bit of ultra violence.

 

Dove’s Real Beauty is bogus, Canada.com, May 31, 2013

I knew this but in case you didn’t, check it out. Dove’s brand is all about “real beauty” and changing the perception of what is beautiful, right? Well, their parent company is Unilever which also owns AXE, which is notorious for using the sex appeal of your typical hottie to sell body spray. It’s all marketing, kids.